Scary moment when the emergency exit door you sit right next to on a plane starts to vibrate and make loud friction noises mid-flight, right? Yes. So, it’s not only me. However, I stayed fairly calm until this mean German flight attendant intervened and made me cry on the plane.
Dan and I have booked an EasyJet flight from Hurghada to Berlin on July 29 and we got lucky that we were able to book seats with extra legroom for only two Quid more. No-brainer, we thought. Of course, we’ll take the upgrade.
Emergency exit briefing – did I just miss it?
After we sat down in aisle 13 (I'm not one of the superstitious, but retrospectively, that was a bad first sign) seat A and B right next to the emergency exit door, I was waiting for the EasyJet flight attendants to give us a short briefing about the procedures in case of an emergency. Usually, and as I remember from previous flights, airlines include this type of briefing as a safety measure to make sure you know what to do in case of an emergency and also, they make sure that you are comfortable with it.
Emergency exit seats? Yeah, baby!
Even though I have flight anxiety – which is important to mention before I continue with the story – I am a frequent flyer and I have sat in those emergency exit seats plenty of times before. In the past, before take-off, the flight attendants asked people sitting in those seats if they have flight anxiety and how severe it is. Every time after I’d explained my condition and that I am super nervous during the take-off but fine mid-air; it has never has been a problem for me to remain seated in those spots. So, I thought on this EasyJet flight it would be just the same as all the other times before. Anyway, that safety briefing on that day never happened. I thought to myself, no biggie. I’ve heard it plenty of times and in case of an emergency, we're all probably are going to die anyway.
So, we’re about to take off. As per usual, I have the worst time crying and being everything but easy going during the start. This time I pulled it together a bit more than usual and I was actually taking a video of the plane accelerating and moving away from the ground. Maaan, I was so proud of myself being able to hold my phone and looking out of the window. I know, no biggie for most, but for me it felt like a hard thing to do. I think it distracted me a bit of my fear in the end as well.
Unsettling sounds – time for earplugs
Once we’re in the air I’m cool. But, I notice rattling and vibrating sounds which came from the emergency door next to me. As I said, mid-air I’m usually as calm as everyone else, I simply wedged one of my earplugs into the gap between the cabin wall and door, where I believed the vibration sound was coming from. It worked! Again, no biggie. After a while though the sound came back and has become even louder. Now, both of the emergency exit doors, so not only the one within our aisle but also the one in front of us, seem to have the same problem. In the meantime, the passengers in front of us got a bit nervous about it and called one of the flight attendants to bring his attention to the sound pointing out that there might be an issue. The flight attendant then calmly said, he believes there is nothing to worry about, however, he will check back with the captain. Fair enough I thought. So far, so good.
Captain's all cool
A few minutes later, the cabin manager came back and said the pilot assured that everything is fine. That was very nice to hear. While the cabin manager brought this good news and turned around to resume his cabin service as nothing happened, another flight attendant stopped by and noticed that noise from the doors as well.
And then the German intervened...
She turned to me, asked me swiftly and with big wide eyes in a very German accent where the sound is coming from. I look over to the emergency exit door and point to it saying “from the door right here”. Immediately, she turned to her colleague, the cabin manager who assured us before there ain't no problem, and expressed her astonishment very quickly: “I haven’t heard that noise before. That noise wasn’t there on the flight to Hurghada.” She said this in front of all the other passengers and myself and seemed to be quite stressed out about it. Everyone who was in the radius of around five isles would have been able to hear those words. Naturally, people now became more nervous and wanted to confirm with the cabin crew manager again that the captain said it was all fine.
German flight attendant trying to crack a joke...
To be fair, at this point I got nervous as well and looked up to the cabin crew craving for clarity. Then, the German flight attendant must have picked up on my fear and looked down right at me with the most serious facial expression. She opened her mouth and said something no one ever wants to hear on a plane: “Oh my god, we're going to crash. There might a part missing... Ooohhhooo!” I looked at her, tears shooting into my eyes. I wasn’t able to say anything as you know anxiety can be a bit of an irrational thing. She opened her mouth again and now she sounded very annoyed as well as condescending: “That was just a joke! If it were serious, I wouldn’t be joking.”
A joke about the plane crashing cracked by a flight attendant: just wow. People around us got quite nervous, I started crying after she said we might crash, and Dan next to me couldn't believe the stupidity of her "joke".
It gets even worse: No sorry, no apology, no empathy from her side afterwards. Dan stood up for me as I wasn’t able to and told her how unprofessional it is to say something like this as a flight attendant on a flight. Even if it wasn’t for me, other passengers heard it as well in front next to and behind us who did not appreciate that untasteful joke in such a situation.
German robots, get an upgrade, install some empathy!
The cabin crew manager (to be fair, no idea if he was German, but he was part of the country crew Germany) overheard the little argument, turned around and instead of showing some empathy towards me, the woman who obviously was in distress and in tears caused by some sort of insensitive joke which one of his crew members made (– I mean it wasn’t even a funny joke, after all the lady was German so I let that one slide –), he told Dan and me off for foolishly sitting at the emergency exits as usually that area tends to be louder than the front of the plane. I couldn't believe what I heard. He did not even apologise for the joke of his crew member either. I mean I know that it might get a bit louder in the middle of the plane – as I said, I am a frequent flyer – I haven't had a problem with the noise at all.
What I have a problem with is that flight attendant who thought it was good idea to make a joke about the plane crashing while we're on it and did not understand that it was, in fact, not a good idea. There was no apology, no signs of empathy, no comforting words of reassuring that we’ll be fine or whatsoever.
Quite frankly, now I was rather shocked by the unprofessional behaviour of the crew (not only the attendant but also the cabin manager) than by the sound of the doors, which I wasn’t much nervous about in the first place anyway.
The passenger right next us witnessed the situation and turned over to us after I calmed down a bit and said: “What a mean lady! I’m so sorry!” He was a very nice guy.
Not much of a listener this cabin crew...
After a while the cabin crew manager and the mean German flight attendant, yes the one who made me cry, came back to our isle as part of their food and drinks service and asked if I’m feeling better now. I looked at the crew manager and I said:
“Thanks for asking. You know what, I didn’t feel bad or unsafe in the first place. But after your crew member made this unprofessional and quite frankly just not-funny joke I do indeed feel very upset. Still. And what I find worse is that neither her nor you, you as the crew manager, did try and improve the situation. On the contrary, instead of receiving any sort of empathy or comforting after one of your crew members made me cry, for which none of you actually apologised – you couldn’t even sincerely say sorry for causing this discomfort to one of your passengers – all you did was accusing me of sitting in the wrong seats. This, I feel, is not right and quite frankly the worst customer service I have received on a plane ever. And, believe it or not, I am a frequent flyer.”
After those words and after the cabin manager tried to interrupt me several times while I was speaking, he repeated himself, that I shouldn’t sit in this spot. Those spots are not for people who have flight anxiety. You know what, if this is his policy, fair enough. I believe it would have come up in the emergency door exit seat briefing which he couldn't be arsed to do before take-off as it is usually. I told him, he could me move, but he rather disregarded me with a disrespectful hand wave gesture instead of making this situation right. He just did not get the point that what the flight attendant did was wrong and basically, triggered my reaction.
The German flight attendant lady in the meantime said to me vehemently and also very annoyed: “I did say sorry! I said ‘I’m sorry, but it was a joke’.” Well, a) I didn’t hear that, neither did Dan who sat right next to me and b) I’m sorry, but an I’m-sorry-but-apology is not an apology. It’s a way to weasel yourself out of an uncomfortable situation without admitting that you did wrong. She could have just apologised right there, which she didn’t do, yet again. I mean, I know a lot of Germans have a problem with saying sorry and genuinely admitting that they’ve done wrong or actually, showing empathy in general. But man, if you fuck up, just admit it and apologise. It’s that easy. On that day, on that flight, that lady made another lady cry. If it were me, I’d be mortified.
Anyway, when disembarking the plane the cabin crew manager as well as the German flight attendant did not look at Dan and me or even had the courtesy to return our goodbye. Again, just wow.
Reminiscing a flight from heaven with Air New Zealand
This whole experience remined me of a flight I took from Australia to Europe (if I remember right) with Air New New Zealand a few years ago. Back then, my anxiety seemed to be much worse and small things like a plane swap before boarding would set off my flight anxiety even worse. When I boarded the Air New Zealand plane, I noticed that the whole set-up was different from what I was expecting and that my window seat turned into a mid-isle seat. This window seat was crucial for me, most people with flight anxiety including me feel so much more comfortable when they sit next to the window.
Anyway, the flight attendant Angie – oh Angie, I still remember you, you angel in the sky! She noticed how uneasy I was when we boarded; I couldn't say a word but quietly mumbled and sopped "but I booked a window seat" while tears shot into my eyes and my whole body started shaking. I didn't have to say anything further. She took me on, explained the situation slowly with a very soothing tone of voice: "I'm so sorry about that! The plane has been changed and that means that your seat number might have changed as well. Don't worry! You are a bit of a nervous flyer, aren't you?" I nodded. She kept going: "You don't worry, I will do everything to find you a window seat. I'm sure one of our lovely passengers will understand your situation and swap seats with you."
I remember that I was so touched by the care she showed which made me cry even more. This stunner found me a seat next to a very nice lady who showed nothing but understanding and comforting words also. As soon as I sat down, the whole cabin crew pampered me with blanckies, cushions and as many Magnum ice creams I could eat after lunch. Whenever they passed by they would asked if I'm alright or if I needed anything else. I felt so comfortable and taken care of. That Air New Zealand flight from heaven is now more than five years ago and still reminisce about it as if it was yesterday. Angie! What a superstar.
When disembarking the plane I was the last one off as I usually faff quite a bit, I wanted to say thank you to the crew. But before I was even able to say anything the whole crew applauded, celebrated and cheered for me. I was in tears again, but man, those were tears of joy. Such lovely people. All of them such superstars. These people made my flight. Air New Zealand, Angie on the forefront, you rock!
Anyway back to the EasyJet flight from the other day, after that whole flight-attendant-unfunny-joke-haha incidence, I ordered a bunch of drinks and got drunk and made the best of the rest of the flight. That was fun, at least.
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